Funny Short Sayings


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Scroll down for a selection of Funny Short Sayings.


This page features a thoughtfully curated selection of intelligent and humorous quips from long-forgotten people of infinite wisdom.


What's good about these sayings is that from them we can learn something. Or, failing that, at least we can have a little laugh to brighten our day.


These sayings can be appreciated as useful rules of thumb for everyday life.


Or they can be inserted strategically into conversations, so as to make us appear more clever than we actually are.


To print this list of sayings, just drag your cursor over the text and select a PRINT option from your drop-down menu.

Make lots of copies and pass them around at work next time you're bored.

For more quirky sayings and other funny stuff, visit any link on this page.



Funny Short Sayings

Old lawyers never die. They just lose their appeal.


If you don’t pay your exorcist you get repossessed.


When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.


The poet has written better poems, but he’s also written verse.


Despite the cost of living, it remains quite popular.


Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.


The good things that come to those who wait are things left by those who got there first.


He’s not dead. He’s electroencephalographically challenged.


Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.


Don’t believe everything you think.


Dyslexics have more fnu.


Early to rise, and early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.


Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.


Everyone always wants to go to heaven, but no one ever wants to die.


Everything is always okay in the end, if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.


Experience is the thing you get instead of the thing you wanted.


Failure is not an option - it’s a lifestyle.


Welcome what you can’t avoid.


You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.


The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.


To generalize is to be an idiot.


To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.


If you like this sort of thing, Google Oscar Wilde or Quentin Crisp and see what happens.




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