SHORT FUNNY QUOTES

It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job: it's a depression when you lose yours.

-Harry Truman

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.

-Albert Einstein

The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back.

-Will Rogers

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

-Woody Allen

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

-Steven Wright

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

-Steve Martin

The future ain't what it used to be.

-Yogi Berra

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

-Rodney Dangerfield

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

-Bill Cosby

Buy land. They've stopped making it.

-Mark Twain

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