Funny Quotes About Health, Wealth, and Happiness

Scroll down for a thoughtful selection of Funny Quotes, clever quips, pithy sayings, and snarky comments. 

This page features a selection of intelligent and humorous quotes about health, wealth, and/or happiness, from long-forgotten people of infinite wisdom. 

Maybe we can learn something from these quotes. After all, the people who spoke them were successful enough.

But failing that, at least we can have a little laugh to brighten our day. 

Most helpfully, these quotes can be inserted strategically into conversations, so as to make us appear more clever than we actually are.

But the best thing about funny quotes is that they are, if nothing else, amusing

Scroll down for links to more Funny Quotes.

To print any of the images shown here, just drag your cursor over the text and select a PRINT option from your drop-down menu.

Make lots of copies and pass them around at work next time you're bored. 

For more quirky sayings and other funny stuff, visit the links below.

More Funny Quotes


My doctor said 'I got GOOD news and BAD news! The GOOD news is, there's going to be a DISEASE named after you!'  

-Steve Martin

Be careful when reading health books. You may die of a misprint.  

-Mark Twain

I once applied for a part time job at a mental hospital. Now I work there full time and they won't let me leave.  



The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.  

-Will Rogers

I'd like to live like a poor man, only with lots of money.  

-Pablo Picasso 

Whoever said that money can't buy happiness does NOT know where to shop.  


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.  

-Lana Turner


Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.  

-Ernest Hemingway

Laugh at your problems! Everyone else does.


It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.  

-Albert Camus

Happiness is having a large, loving, close-knit family in another city.  

-George Burns

Suggestion: If you like funny quotes, Google Oscar Wilde or Quentin Crisp and see what happens.


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