Shut Up And Lie!
(How To Make Lies Believable)

Wanna learn How To Make the Lies you know you tell more believable?

You've come to the right place.

Scroll down for step by step instructions on the world's most popular lifestyle strategy. 

Are you someone who never lies?

Stop lying!

You know perfectly well that not everything on your resume is accurate. 

And that's just ONE example. 

Read on to learn not only How To Lie effectively and How To Lie guilt-free, but How To Make your Lies more believable.  

After all, what is the point of lying if you don't do it right? 

Chapter 4

How To Make Them Believe Your Lies

If you want to be a successful liar, it's best to avoid cliches, tall tales, and other insults to the intelligence that anyone would have to be retarded to believe. 

Lazy lies such as these will diminish your credibility, and damage whatever passed for your integrity. People are more supportive of those they feel they can trust.

So trick them into trusting you! That's How To Make friends and influence people. 

It's easy to see how credibility and integrity are powerful sources of wealth, crucial in business and personal matters both. 

You don't want to lose your credibility. You'll need that for those great big whopping lies you may eventually need to tell. 


That being said, here's a list of the Top 10 FTLs — Frequently Told Lies. Also shown for your perusal is an accurate lie-to-truth translation for each FTL. 

These are lies you may wish to avoid, unless it really doesn't matter if the listener knows you're lying. 

LIE                                        TRUTH 

How can I help you?                When are you leaving? 

I mailed it yesterday.               I can't find it. 

He's in a meeting.                   He's avoiding you. 

I tried to call you.                    I forgot you exist. 

I'll call you later.                      Please Go Away. 

You look fabulous!                   You ugly!  

Looks don't matter.                  You ugly!  

Size doesn't matter.                 Size matters. 

It's not you, it's me.                It's not me, it's you. 

I hope we can still be friends.   I hope a restraining order                  

                                             won't be necessary.

Generally, the most believable lies are thoughtfully conceived, carried out with confidence, and told for all the right reasons. Yet, some lies are so common they are automatically believed. 

These lies can be categorized as "Lies we don't know we are telling."

Here are the Top 10 most overused examples: 

  1. It never hurts to ask. 
  2. It takes one to know one. 
  3. The worst they can do is tell us to leave. 
  4. You can't know if you'll like it unless you try it. 
  5. Practice makes perfect.
  6. Crime doesn't pay. 
  7. Names will never hurt me. 
  8. Everybody does it. 
  9. Money doesn't grow on trees. 
  10. Honesty is the best policy. 

The two most essential skills needed to become a competent liar (other than acting ability) are confidence and charm. 

If you don't possess those qualities, pretend you do. That's where the acting ability comes in handy. 

As George Burns once said, "The most important thing about being an actor is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

He may have been funny, but he wasn't joking. Good acting is How To Make people believe in you. 

As UC Santa Barbara Psychologist Bella de Paulo notes: "The most convincing liars really do not feel bad about what they are doing." 

Another study by Robert Feldman at U Mass concluded that people who were the most popular kids in high school were also the most believable liars. 

But what if those people were lying about being popular in high school?  

These "experts" should really learn how to make a more flawless experiment. 

The next step is to avoid being misled by oversimplified rules of thumb. 

Forget all that handy-dandy, just-so, how-to-tell-if-they're-lying crap that's all about how people never look you in the eye when lying, or always look to the left when lying, or mumble when lying, or sweat when lying, or stutter or stumble or twitch when lying. 

What a great steaming pile of buffalo burgers! 

Sometimes people do those things for reasons other than lying. That's why mechanical lie detector tests are so unreliable. 

Cancel the interrogation. Maybe I noticed something more interesting than you are, situated somewhere to my left. Maybe I twitch because I'm nervous, or epileptic. Maybe I sweat if the temperature rises above 80 degrees. 

It doesn't mean I'm lying, necessarily, although I probably am, especially if my lips are moving. 

Minimal critical thinking plainly reveals that so many "experts" are really no better than the rest of us at distinguishing lies from truth, although they often seem to have a deadline for filling up space on a page.

One "important" "study" "showed" that extroverts lie more often than introverts. 

Volunteers who identified themselves as one or the other were tested to see how frequently they'd lie. "Experts" found that those who identified themselves as extroverts lied more often. 

But don't extroverts talk more often? Couldn't that have something to do with it?

Not only that, but what if the people who identified themselves as extroverts were actually lying introverts?  

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Shut Up And Lie! 

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