Short Funny Poems For
Kids And Adults

above image credit: The Far Side by Gary Larsen


Writer for Hire

by Judee Shipman


I expertly enable them through burning evening hours,

arranging them with edifying ease.

Words are helpless victims of my literary powers.

My grammar is as proper as you please.

My spelling's even properer. Punctuation, too!

Imaginative, metaphoric timing... 

I am doing what I love and I am loving what I do.

On request, I will regurgitate it, rhyming.

For you, I'll write voraciously! Precision guaranteed!

Create the greatest stories ever heard!

I'll grant your fondest wishes and fulfill your every need!

All this (and more!) for 20 cents a word.

I like to count the words exactly, just because I'm able

(exceedingly attentive to detail).

Stylistic flexibility lands offers on the table.

My sensual descriptions never fail. 

Words can open any door. Words can be themselves.

Words keep me financially afloat. 

"One hundred fifty words or more" (you stated it yourselves).

One hundred fifty words is what I wrote.

A Failed Poet

by Eric Welburn


I'd like to write a poem

And one that doesn't rhyme

But it's harder than I realised

I'm failing all the time

I eradicated couplets

All triplets and quatrains

I modified the rhythm

But had to start again!

And then I thought I'd cracked it

And produced non-rhyming verse

But in the end

The thing I'd penned

Was infinitely worse

I've come to the conclusion

I'm a rhyming man at heart

So I'm going to write a limerick

And see if I can be more successful.

A Villanelle

by Gordon Costello


I thought today I'd write a villanelle

Because a formal poem can be nice,

But this one sucks, as if you couldn't tell.

"If it's to be worth writing, write it well."

My mother said, and so, on her advice

I thought today I'd write a villanelle.

A poem is a tricky thing to sell,

Though if it's good you'll get a better price

But this one sucks, as if you couldn't tell.

I'm told that poets always go to Hell,

Therefore, because I like a little vice,

I thought today I'd write a villanelle.

I'm busy, so I wrote it down pell-mell,

Which sometimes lends a poem extra spice,

But this one sucks, as if you couldn't tell.

I can't remember now how it befell

That, motivated by some rare device,

I thought today I'd write a villanelle,

But this one sucks, as if you couldn't tell.

More Short Funny Poems and Stories

Valentine Couplets

Aesop's Rhymes 

Funny Quotes and Sayings.

Poems About States 

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short funny poems 

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